Monday, December 17, 2007

Come Monday, it'll be all right...

Bonus points if you knew that the title was from a Jimmy Buffet song. Buffet is way, way underrated - his songs are, for the most part, catchy and singable. Yes, he is writing the same stuff he did 25 years ago; but there is something to be said for a person who finds his niche and is content creating inside of it. I saw him live, once, in Virginia... some buddies of mine painted a pickup gray, taped fins to the side & top, drew teeth on the front & drove a shark to the show. Awesome times.

This was a pretty good weekend, all told. We were iced / snowed in today... truth be told, I could have driven up for church singing & teaching lessons, but I just didn't feel like it. The trips would have taken twice as long as normal, and I wasn't in the mood to sit in the car for four hours today. Mommy had lots of time with her baby this weekend, as I was singing on the Chorus Tree Friday night, teaching lessons all day (9 to 3) Saturday and doing my math homework on Sunday. This is not a bad thing; baby need Mommy as much or more than baby needs Daddy.

I'm wondering how it will affect the filial relationships, to have me spending so much time with the baby in the first years of his life! True, he's still eating Mommy's Milk, and that taste has to be a strong associative, but the fact is that I'm with him constantly from 6:30AM, when she leaves for work, until 3:15PM when she gets home, and I have him for some time in the other hours, too... it's amazingly unreasonable of me to think that she'll be in charge of The Boy from the moment she walks in the door until the moment she leaves again. It's just not going to happen that way! She loves him, and she needs & loves to spend time with him; but, she's working hard all day at school and needs to do things like rest and sleep.

She does take care of him most of the time when she's home. She doesn't necessarily need to do that, but - with me working 20-ish hours per week after her school gets over, and with me doing this online master's degree thing - she steps up to the plate every single time. I think we do have a good enough relationship that, when she tells me she needs help, she knows that I'll drop everything and help her.

But still, what effect will this have on The Boy? Hopefully, it will allow us to have a closer relationship while he's growing up. Yes, I know that once they go to school and get to be teenagers and stuff that all bets are off. I've taught for 8 years in the public schools and talked things over with enough parents to know. I hope and pray that I can have a strong relationship with him - where I can help him learn right and wrong and help him avoid tilting at the windmills that have knocked me flat on my ass, and where I can allow him to make his mistakes and to learn the lessons he needs to learn as safely as possible.

And, most importantly, help him from making horrible life mistakes, like rooting for the Boston Red Sox or the Dallas Cowboys, or playing the drums, or liking Angel more than Spike, or liking Cannonball more than Coltrane.

This week, The Boy will be coming with me on Wednesday, on a LONG trip up to Wayne, NJ, to sing Christmas carols for a former Dapper Dan member who is not doing so well in a nursing home up there. Should be interesting...

1 comment:

Paul D. Keiser said...

You'd be surprised. Liam spens - and has spent - MUCH more time with mommy than me, yet he seems to be a clone of me most of the time. Quick tempered, outgoing, musically cheesy and showy, into all geek-related things, and a bit self-centered...

Maybe I SHOULD have spent more time with him, after all! Poor kid!