Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Rutgers University, class of 2030...

Oh, if only I was fifteen years younger and single... (memo to my wife: I'm REALLY only kidding.)

Today, after spending an hour at PT with me (the Daddy walked smack into a fire hydrant in Denver, CO, while arguing with American airlines about the flight that I was supposed to be on the following morning - the one that they canceled my ticket, for no reason - this caused some sort of tendonitis, which is still bugging the crap out of me), The Boy went with me, my father & my niece down to Rutgers for a tour of the nursing school. The Niece - a lovely, sublimely intelligent young lady who is, outside of my baby, the apple of my eye - is looking to become a nurse, and Rutgers is #1 or #2 on her list. Since both The Wife & I have degrees from there, I went on the tour to explain some Rutgers things with her. The Boy came along, as the decision was bring him or leave him in his crib all day. Since I don't want my wife to kill me, I took him with us.

He was an absolute hit, and he was an amazingly good baby. Did he get a little cranky and fussy? Well, yeah. Around his nap time, he was angry and upset that he was in his carriage and indoors instead of in his crib or in his daddy's arms. Who cares about that? He was WONDERFUL! He was happy and engaged in his surroundings, and he was a little flirt all day. Barely the coed that passed that didn't stop to bid the young one hello. The Boy happens to be exceptionally cute, and he had a great time "chatting up" all the girls.

What does a "good baby" or "bad baby" mean? What's the difference? I'm not entirely sure at this point. The general consensus seems to be that a "good baby" isn't crying a lot and does smile a lot. A "difficult baby" is a crying baby or a baby that isn't smiling. Kind of arbitrary, don't you think? There's plenty of times when The Boy is just hanging out and watching what's going on - watching me, watching the surroundings, watching the shadows on the wall of the room, watching the digital photo screen or the television. (Not that much tv, thanks - just a show or two for Daddy's sanity during the day.) When he's just "hanging," he's not necessarily smiling or reacting to what's going on around him - he's just watching and feeling mellow. Does that mean he's not a "good" baby? Of course not!

I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm really blogging right now to avoid doing some of my school work. I have a statistics project that I'm not entirely sure about - I know how to do it, I just don't know the direction that I want the paper to go. I don't have a lot of energy tonight, and it shows.

Ah. More on this later. What do you think? What constitutes a "good" baby, and what constitutes a "difficult" baby? Don't all babies have elements of both - sort of human nature, don't you think?


the mol said...

This is a pretty hot topic, "good" baby and "bad" baby. When the older generation (meaning people older than your oldest brother) ask if he's a good baby, they mean his temperament overall, and does he sleep at night and not cry. A "good" baby lets his parents do what they want to do without too much inconvenience. What in the heck am I supposed to say when someone asks if The Boy is a "good" baby? "No, he's terrible--you want him?"

And really, what if, by those definitions, you have a "bad" baby? The Boy hasn't been sleeping all through the night recently--does that make him a "bad" baby? I know that on the rare occasions that I've walked through the supermarket with him and he's been crying, I get these Looks from people, thinking that he's a "bad" baby and I must be a bad mother because he cries.

And, if I pick him up when he cries, he's "spoiled" which just kills me. For something to spoil, it needs to be neglected and ruined, given little attention or have things added to it that makes it disgusting. Not...nurtured and loved and cared for, with its needs met. Physical affection is a need for a baby. End of story.

Amanda said...

I use to get so irritated when someone would criticize the fact that I always held my son when he was young. They said he'd never be independen yadda yadda. Well he is the most independent happy little boy you'd meet (he's still only 19mnths!). He's also very loving and kind. I hate the Is he a good baby question!

Amy said...

"No he's terrible! do you want him?"
lmao, I'm going to remember that one and use it at some point.

We tend to avoid using the terms "good" and "bad" and we are very grateful to have had easy babies. By that I'm talking babies who do not have colic, allergies, sensitivities... etc. I also get the "You'll spoil her by holding her that much" Or because we co-sleep or nurse past a year. I figure spoiling is when you buy a kid anything they want, just because they whine for it. Like the kid in my line today who hit his mom and informed her that he'll hate her unless she gives him money. Then, after she hands him a couple dollars he tells her that's not enough!
Babies cannot be spoiled with love and cannot be classified into good or bad. That doesn't come until they hit toddlerhood ;)