Monday, June 9, 2008

The Exquisite Pain of Fatherhood...

Left out of the whole parent-hood topic is the immense physical pain that comes along with fatherhood. I know that women have the market essentially cornered - the whole "labor" thing seems to be a rain pain, pun intended - but, please don't disregard men's agony through the whole process. To wit, I refer to Scrubs, season 6, episode 8:

Ouch. Truly, ouch.

It might only be my kid, in real life, but I doubt it. The Boy has an amazing way of finding my man-junk with a headbutt, a punch or a kick with disturbing frequency. (Is this, perhaps, Darwinism in action? A way for a young child to ensure that s/he doesn't have to share his parents' love with another baby, by crippling the father?) I mean, it's like the kid has a radar sense.

Yesterday, we were on the floor in the living room. I was lying on my back, presenting my legs as an obstacle to be crawled over while I was... I don't know. Drinking tea, or reading the paper, or watching television, or something. Not paying attention to the baby, that's for sure.

He leans over to stand up, grabs a handhold on me and pulls and twists as hard as he can to get himself off of the ground.

Two words: Oh. My. God.

It's tough being a guy sometimes.

I hope he has a child just like him. Then, he'll know pain.


Flossie Teacake said...

My husband bathed the baby this evening. I heard them talking to each other, the baby was gurgling and splashing about. Daddy says 'yes, that's my willy and that's your willy'. I assume there's pointing involved, learning about being a boy. Then there's a screech 'ouch, no, get off Daddy's willy, ouch, stop it, stop it'. It appears the baby's fondness for pulling himself up on furniture/mummy's clothes/toys also extends to Daddy's bits. Poor Daddy.

Musical Daddy said...

I feel his pain...