I find myself scrutinizing The Boy on a regular basis over the last couple of weeks, trying to figure out if there are any outward or inward signs that might have lead us to an earlier diagnosis of the Wilms Tumor. And, as all medical literature that I've read has told me, there are no outward signs. One of the symptoms of a Wilms Tumor is that there are no symptoms.
Little things. When he crawls, every other step with his left foot is not a crawl step; he kind of swings his foot flat on the floor and pushes with it, almost like an actual walking step. My wife and I hypothesize that that step helps reduce tension on his midsection and the tumor area. Certainly, since the surgery, he's been motivated to reduce the stress on the surgical incision area.
He's also taking more milk than we're used to him eating. My wife remarked that the two days after the chemotherapy were almost like when he was a newborn: waking every two hours to change and eating mommy's milk almost as often. He's taking naps a little more often, which makes sense. And, with the notable exception of Saturday night, he's been sleeping fitfully and in short bursts, like he's still in the hospital.
I'm nervous about the rest of the chemo and what's going to happen. I'm sad that he's going to lose his hair, and I'm nervous about things like mouth sores and constipation. I hope his personality and character don't change; I want him to stay a sweet, innocent, playful baby for a long time.