Friday, July 4, 2008

Not a bad day.

Now, I know from filial experience (mother, father, mother-in-law & various aunts and uncles) that chemo is a cumulative thing. That is, the effects build upon each other over time, creating a miserable week 24-27. I understand that. That said, today was a pretty good day for The Boy.

After I finished blogging, he fell back asleep around 6:20AM. I put him back in his crib. At 7, the tv came on in the room - The Wife's alarm woke her at 3, mine at 5, and the tv at 7. My mother-in-law took the 1 AM shift. I nudged the wife and said, "It's your turn," and she dutifully changed the boy and brought him in bed with us.

(Which is sad all on its own. I'm used to nudging her and saying, "Please? Please? Pretty please?" That's how we got into this whole child-experience in the first place.)

At that point, we slept until 9:20! Hooray. We all needed it, that's for sure.

Boring morning. I mowed half the lawn, then poured a small concrete base for the clothesline-thing in my backyard - the old base rusted out last week. That's about a quarter or so saved per load... at a cost of about $2 of pipe and $6 of concrete. (They don't sell concrete in "itty-bitty amounts" at Home Depot.) Then I sat down with the wife and watched the first half of the Barbershop Chorus contest on the Society's webcast, which was lots of fun. I'm really, really proud of my boys in the Big Apple Chorus!

The Boy enjoyed the competition. He watched some, he played lots, he napped a bit. Interestingly, he watched the really good choruses and ignored the not-as-good ones. I think that he has accurately picked the top ten choruses, again. Silly boy. He had a good lunch and a good dinner, although I don't think he actually ate as much as he did pre-surgery.

We took him to the park after dinner tonight, and he had a lot of fun on the swing. Best part: we have a little "game" where I lean my face just shy of where his head will be when he's swinging. He always flinches a bit and closes his eyes, then laughs for such a long time. It's lots of fun, and he just doesn't get tired of it! I know I have to be careful, because I don't want to scramble those precious brains with an accidental headbutt. We were only at the park for about ten minutes, because he's just moving slowly right now, compared with pre-surgery.

He's asleep in his crib right now. The doctor told us that we don't HAVE to wake him up the second night for the 2-hour changes, so - this week - we're not. That might change, but ALL of us are exhausted and could use the rest. It wouldn't surprise me if he slept all the way through the night, but we'll change him (as per kind of the doctor's orders) if he wakes for his 1AM milk. We'll see.

I'm nervous, and I'm scared about the whole chemo thing. I'm terrified that he's going to suffer; he's already uncomfortable in little ways. I can tell; it's really true that you know your baby better than others do. I can sense that he's not 100% himself right now, that he's a little bit out of sorts. That's okay; I know that I'd be wacky if they removed my kidney and started chemotherapy on me.

I'm glad he's so young. I'm glad that it's this particular chemo. I'm glad that it was THIS tumor. I'm glad that he's under the care of these doctors. I'm glad that my friends and my family and my church and my temple have rallied around us. We're blessed in so many ways. I understand this.

I'm still terrified.

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