Monday, August 25, 2008

This one time, at band camp...

Due to professional considerations, I will not be talking about details regarding work. Of course, I'd never mention a student by name or with enough detail that they could be identified (that's against the law, actually), but my new district is particularly strict about things. I'm fairly sure that my blog is not particularly kosher with them, but if I don't mention work / teaching except as the big activity that I pursue between 7AM and 3PM, I don't think there's an issue.

Anyway, I'm up at band camp right now, and I really miss my baby. I've been away from him before, with the same band on their annual trip (last year to Boston), but I really miss him now. I feel guilty that I'm not there to help my wife and her mother take care of The Boy, because I know him just as well as she does and can help out. (...even though he's a Momma's Boy right now and doesn't want all that much to do with Daddy.) He's a little constipated and backed up due to the dactinomycin-D, and I want to help him feel better.

We had such fun, playing on Friday and Saturday. He doesn't quite understand the whole "chase" game, because when I chase him, he has the tendency to turn around and back towards me or to sit still and wait to be pounced upon. But, the games that we play are an awful lot of fun, and I love waking up to his smiling face and his hugs. (Baby hugs rule.)

And, I'm worried about tomorrow. He's so LITTLE, and the fact that they have to knock him out scares the crap out of me. I want to be there, and I want to be there when he wakes up. I know he won't be in any pain during the scan, and I know that he'll be fine and home by dinnertime. It's still scary and frustrating as hell that I'm up here when he's got his medical procedure at home.

Don't get me wrong - I'm having a great time up here. The band is far out-performing the most optimistic of expectations and is a good-natured and hard-working group of kids! I'm growing more excited about the season as each hour passes. But, I need to be there for my family!

Again, to repeat - the scan is tomorrow. The results will be given to the radiologist, our surgeon and our oncologist. They will be overnighted to Columbus, OH, where the Wilms Tumor guru is located. Everyone is supposed to analyze the results and speak together, then we'll hear from our oncologist on Wednesday. We're expecting: 1) the tumor has shrunk as expected, and he'll be operated on at some point within a week of Wednesday; 2) the tumor has not responded to chemotherapy as hoped, and the surgery will be put off until after week 12's CAT scan (with a likely increase in intensity of chemo, in my best guess and from no info the doctor has provided); or, least probable, 3) the tumor has disappeared due to chemo, no surgery is required & chemo will continue as ordered. The surgery will postpone week 8 of chemo (and everything else) by seven days; there is a probability that the chemo will be altered post-surgery depending on what they find from this tumor.

Ironically enough, the 2-pound tumor was a stage I tumor. That's bad, but not horrendous. The little tumor, that we might be operating on this week, is a stage II, which is a little bit worse. It hasn't spread anywhere, but it's pretty well entrenched. This means that it's a little more complex to treat, which is why things are so well up in the air.

Regardless, I'm heading home on Wednesday night. If I'm not at the hospital on Thursday, I'll be at a new teacher's thing. The Boy's birthday party is on Saturday. Whether it's at home or at the hospital, we'll know on Wednesday.

Wow. Wednesday is going to suck. Last year at this band camp, I was waiting for the telephone call which told me that my wife went into labor. That ended happily. This year, I'm waiting for the call about my son's tumor. G-d willing, this will end just as happily.

1 comment:

the mol said...

Good news on the poo front. Won't get descriptive but it is good news.

Just gave The Boy his last milk before the scan. Now I can't sleep, but I'm sure I'll catch a few zzz's more before I have to leave.