Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Frustration...

We've now started a trend, apparently. Every time that The Boy gets strapped into his high chair, he starts hacking and coughing and throwing up. This is not good. Yesterday, when my wife came home from work (I was watching him, at home), she peeked in on his nap and remarked that, for the first time, he looked sickly.

We knew that it had to happen, eventually. I mean, he just finished week 9 of chemotherapy, which is - here it is again - a cumulative process. At some point, it would have to catch up with him. He didn't sleep much on Saturday night, didn't nap enough on Sunday, didn't sleep particularly well on Sunday night, and didn't nap at all on Monday. No wonder the poor kid looks like heck.

It's frustrating. I'm a guy. I want to FIX things.

To make matters worse, the mommy-attachment thing is growing stronger and - frankly - more desperate. I just can't seem to catch a break with the kid! If my wife is in the house, he won't play with me, won't relax with me, won't sleep / nap with me, won't be comforted by me. It's frustrating. A few months ago, I feel like I was a full 50% partner in The Boy. Now, because I'm not allowed to help him BY him, I feel like I'm a 25% partner at best. I know that this is a pendulum thing - in a few more months, he'll be all about Daddy. But, during this time of need, I want to be able to help. I want to be able to rock him to sleep. I want to be able to cuddle him when he's sick.

Frustrating. Not a good weekend.

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