Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Light at the End of the Tunnel...

...is a reflection off of our heads. The Boy is starting to lose his hair, and that's really making me sad. Since it's so late in the chemo process (week 11, officially, is tomorrow - and is, thank G-d, just blood work and no chemicals), we were hoping that he would avoid the whole hair loss thing. No such luck. As we were enjoying a family snuggle yesterday afternoon, my wife was running her fingers through his baby hair and emerged with a handful. This was repeated a couple of times subsequently.

In a weird sort of way, I was looking forward to this. It struck a cognitive dissonance that a child that has such health issues always LOOKED so healthy. I've expected him to look as sick as he is, as sick as the chemo is making him. Now that the hair loss is here, I'm very, very sad about it. But, at least we won't feel guilty that our kid looks so perfect while the other cancer kids look sick.

Does that count as a nuerosis, to feel guilty about The Boy looking healthy when he isn't? We saw a kid - obviously in chemo - at the mall last week, and we would have loved to chat with the parents a little bit. But, we didn't, because The Boy looked so healthy, happy and radiant that we didn't feel like explaining that "it's the GOOD type of tumor.

But, I digress.

I'm looking forward to the MRI tomorrow, because 1) big, noisy machines are cool, and 2) it'll be nice to spend some time with The Wife's aunt, who is an immensely cool chick, and 3) it'll be nice to have the doctor tell us some (hopefully) good news about the remaining tumor. I don't expect prompt results, so I'm certain that I'm going to be irritatable for the weekend, waiting and waiting. Life's difficult.

Good news from this morning: he ate a BIG breakfast. His entire poached egg, a quarter of a slice of bread and a lot of juice. This was more breakfast than he's eaten over the past week! I also think we're getting into a little habit of having five or ten minutes of snuggle time before we leave in the morning - like, 7:15 to 7:25 or so. I like that very much.

1 comment:

Sarah R said...

I am so sad for you, your wife, and The Boy. It has to be the hardest thing (or next hardest thing) for a parent to go through. Save those beautiful locks for his baby book, and look forward to the day chemo is over. That hair will grow back in. It doesn't make it any easier, but just keep telling yourself the chemo is helping him get better. (((Hugs)))