Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A Whole Lot More of Nothing

So, we continue to wait for Dr. Comcast (which is his new name for the time being. I call him Dr. Comcast because he's been like dealing with the cable company - "You must be home between the hours of 6AM and 11PM for our workers to come by." "I was - it's 11:30PM." "Oh - well, we'll just reschedule for next year then. How's June looking for you?"). Our oncologist called at around ten of nine tonight to let us know that Dr. Comcast was presenting The Boy's case at the Tumor Panel at CHoP tomorrow. Afterwards, he will call our oncologist, who will call us.

My prediction: down to Philly for tests on Friday, surgery on Tuesday or Wednesday.

My stress level is, honest-to-G-d, through the roof. I'm really, really agitated about this whole thing. I understand and appreciate that they are mustering all of the best medical minds at a great children's hospital on the behalf of my son. I really, really am glad about that. I understand that The Boy's case is special - things aren't supposed to grow in a cancer-free (post-surgery) area, particularly not in a two-week time period in the middle of a chemotherapy cycle. But, I just want to get this DONE.

I can't teach. I can't think. I can't carry on a civil conversation with anybody. I can't think. I can't sleep - well, that's not true. Little ever interferes with my sleep cycles. I'm just not sleeping particularly well.

I screamed at 4 of my 6 classes today and was - to put it generously - ineffective at marching band rehearsal today. This can't keep going on and on and on and on and on like this. We were told that this surgery was supposed to happen at the end of August. Then it was the first week of September. Then the second week. Then the end of September. Then the beginning of October. Then the middle of October. Now....???? Our oncologist told us that he needs the surgery SOON, which is something inclined to believe. His blood pressure has been going steadily up and up over the past couple of weeks, necessitating the addition of a second dose of his blood pressure meds for the first time since July.

And, as each hours passes tomorrow during the day, things look less and less and less like they will happen this week. And, if it doesn't happen this week, we wind up in a situation where it's not going to happen for a couple of weeks - because we start to get into interfering with the chemo cycle.

Frustrating.

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