I admit to being more than a tad grumpy tonight. Part of that was caused by an amazing lack of sleep (how many nights of more than 6 hours sleep have I had lately?), part of that was caused by the normal crushing stress of having my kid going through chemotherapy, and part of it was concern. When I got back to the hospital at 3:30PM, The Boy was just lying down for a nap. He didn't sleep, partially because every time that he was settling to sleep, somebody walked in the room and agitated him in some way, shape or form.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not angry that people came to visit. It was a really nice evening: The Wife's sisters, their sort-of-sister, Grandma & Grandpa & sister-in-law's friend J were in the hospital. It's just that, when he hasn't had a nap and has had three days of nasty chemotherapy, the baby is going to be on a really, really short fuse.
I put a stop to the "everyone pile in the hospital room to say hi" thing pretty quickly. As my father recommended, it's a bad idea to have more than one guest besides Mommy & Daddy. He is as agitatable as I am, and he gets overstimulated relatively quickly. I was also the one that pulled him back in the room when he started to get a little fussy, and I was the one who told the group that they were NOT to stop in and say good night to him.
But, considering that I was the one that kept settling him down when he was disturbed from his nap, and disturbed from being overstimulated, and disturbed in general, I realize that I have to be the bad guy occasionally. I don't want to offend anyone, but I also don't want to have a baby that is that upset and angry.
Kids have limits, you know? And kids who are on chemotherapy tend to smack into their limits much harder and faster than non-chemo kids. Fifteen minutes with the family in the Hannukah celebration was enough to send him to a bad place, particularly considering he didn't have his nap in the afternoon.
He did get a lot of nice presents. I got a GPS device, which is awesome because I love gadgets.
I hope and pray that tonight is easier than this afternoon was. I don't want my mother-in-law to have a difficult night. I've been there: every two hours for the diaper change, it can take 30 to 45 minutes to soothe him back to sleep. Then, it takes fifteen minutes to soothe myself back to sleep, then the whole thing starts up an hour later. Long story short, a night of loud crying and three hours' sleep can result quicker than you can say, "Cranky Little Man."
I'm excited about my GPS. I want to go get lost somewhere so that I can find my way home again.