Monday, January 26, 2009


Over the last two days, we've had two helpers come by to the house to lend a hand. The first was a volunteer from the Chai lifeline who came by on Sunday and played with The Boy. The general objective is to have someone who can come to the house once or twice a month and let The Wife and I do whatever we need to do: housework, shopping, grab a cup of coffee, whatever. The second was a lady from our temple who spent a couple of hours at the house while The Wife took The Boy for counts; we had some workers at the house, putting in some new windows in The Boys room.

I still feel a little bad about accepting people's help like that. It's weird, because the last few weeks have been really, really great - no unexpected illnesses, no bad days, just lots of fun, games, smiles and snuggles. Because things have been going so well, I almost don't remember what it's like to have everything fall apart around me (see: Thanksgiving). With luck, it'll be a LONG time before things get that bad. I guess it is good that we're getting a few new helpers lined up for the next Bad Time, but it still makes me feel somewhat awkward.

I had one of THOSE conversations at school last week. I'm a tad egotistical, so my assumption is that, since I "came out" about The Boy's cancer, everyone at the school has figured it out. I was chatting with the nurse about The Boy and I started talking about his treatment, when I realized that she had no idea what I was talking about. That took a nice five minute conversation and turned it into a fifteen minute conversation. Sigh.

Today after school, one of the other teachers (who also didn't know) asked about my "I'm a member of Team [The Boy]" button. To save the conversation, I just told her that The Boy was having some problems that we're working through, which is why the buttons were made. Tough thing, because it's a delicate balance between answering enough so as not to appear standoffish and answering enough to start a fifteen minute conversation about how my life sucks. Where's the line? I'm not sure.

Things I never thought to consider in my pre-cancer life: accepting volunteer help. Accepting gifts from different people, including many that I don't really know. Thinking about different stories to tell people so they don't feel awkward or full of pity or whatever.

1 comment:

Katri Ervamaa said...

When I had the twins (not quite the same situation, but help is also often needed) the best advice I got from another twin mommy: when somebody offers help, take it, and don't feel guilty. Volunteers are great, and I always think that they ARE getting good karma points for doing it! And maybe eventually when the situation changes I will be able to pay it forward: I certainly will never forget it :)