Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I hate being sick.

I'm not very good at sitting still. Yesterday, I didn't feel like moving at all - more to the point, I was unconscious for most of the day. When I was awake, yesterday, it was perfectly okay to spend the time staring up at the ceiling or marshaling my energy for a deathmarch into the kitchen to get another Vitamin Water. Today? I'm at a solid 35% of normal, which means I feel JUST good enough to move around the house and watch TV and do some light computer work. The only thing I got done was clearing out some shows on TiVo and some updated scales sheets for my students. Exciting, no? No.

The Boy was very, very cute today, and he was exceptionally snuggly for most of the day. It makes sense - his blood counts are at the low point of the cycle from Monday through Wednesday, so he probably has no red blood cells in his body. That would certainly explain his general energy level... he doesn't seem to have what we had, considering that he's still eating like a little piggy-piggy. Thankfully.

This morning, I was trying to nap. This effort was not aided by a bouncy 17-month old. I asked The Wife to take him outside, and this was the wrong move. She was more than willing, but he was NOT. He crawled down the hall, tried to push the door open, and sat and cried piteously outside the door. I mean, this was the saddest crying that I have ever heard in my life! When I opened the door, he was so happy and excited to see me! We both did nap, a short time later.

But, really - have you ever really thought about the responsibility of being a parent? I mean, besides the whole "raising a child to be a socially productive person" thing, which is scary enough. This little person loves his Mommy and Daddy with his entire heart, body and soul. We, right now, are his entire world and universe. As a matter of fact, The Boy, in particular, cannot imagine anything outside of us. We are his blankie and favorite teddy bear. Man, that's heavy stuff.

I hope that I'm never put in a position where I'm going to breach that faith and that love. I know that I will be, and I know that I will. I just want to be aware of that incredible trust, so that I will only breach it at my, and our, choice. (That refers back to a series of science fiction novels, starring a character that was famous for his honor - except the rare times that he breaks it, which is always at his choice, instead of being forced upon him.)

This afternoon was spent alternating between napping and playing, and we finally emerged from the bedroom at around 3:30-ish. A lady at from the temple came by for an hour this afternoon, to play with The Boy while The Wife did some cleaning. The toys got cleaned and the floors got vaccuumed. Now, I'm sitting with The Boy as he eats his dinner; The Wife is cleaning in the kitchen. (Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen... heh. Heh.) I'm not going to chorus tonight, because I'd actually like to go to work tomorrow - the next two days are "switch days," where I am another teacher. Should be fun and interesting, and I want to get through it as much as possible.

My diet yesterday: 2 bottles of Vitamin Water, two servings of chicken broth. My diet today: 2 more bottles of Vitamin Water, two plain bagels (one for lunch, one for dinner) and a serving of Cream of Rice. Oh, and the green tea that I'm drinking right now. Ugh.

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