Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sleep Issues

So, we're back to having reasonably serious sleep issues. As in, The Boy just won't sleep without being on top of me or next to Grandma. When he's in the hospital, we can get up (even leave the room for short periods of time) without him waking. For the last couple of weeks (ironically, since my blog entry about the blissfully silent morning), if I've gotten up, so has The Boy.

Anyone have any suggestions about this? Here's what we're not willing to do right now: let him "cry it out." Not so good, when we've just gotten his blood pressure under control and don't want to show him more stress than we can avoid. We went through a time of putting the gate across the door and leaving him to scream in his bedroom until he went to sleep; we're not willing or able to subject the entire household to that right now.

I know that this is just a phase, and he'll work his way out of it soon-ish. It's just hard on everyone, especially The Boy. He's sleeping far, far too little at night and having unsatisfying naps during the day. It's really hard, especially when Younger Bro requires attention but The Boy is asleep. I go to take care of Younger Bro, but The Boy wakes up poorly and needs Daddy's shoulder on which to fall asleep.

Help would be appreciated.


Bill said...

Duct tape ?

I think that you need to start treating the bed as a place where he sleeps, and not a place where everyone does. Start off by putting a chair next to the bed, and read to him while he's in bed, and you're in the chair. Don't get in the bed with him. Explain to him that it is his big boy bed, and you can't fit in it any more. If you have to, you can sit in the chair until he falls asleep.

What works for me is to give #3 things to distract him. Even if he doesn't go to sleep right away, he'll have something to keep him occupied.

Rachel said...

Does he still fit in a Pack and Play? Maybe he would feel ok about sleeping in your room, but in his own space?

The Reluctant Crunchy Mama said...

Our situation is not as difficult as yours at the moment, but she is mostly in bed with us lately. She will stay in bed without me for a few hours, but she does get pretty clingy and asks to nurse many times after 5am. The only way she goes to sleep is by placing her hand on my chest or if she is rocked to sleep by my husband. In other words, I feel your pain! Our plan is to tell her we will be doing a new nighttime routine, explaining it in simple phrases we know she will understand. We will spend the first few nights sitting next to her bed, then further away, but still in her room, and, lastly, at the door. The book I read says to spend three nights on each step, but I have learned to tweek the plan if/when necessary. We, like you, do not like cry it out. But, at the same time, a bit of crying is inevitable. I wish you guys the best. I do not like having to change things on her and The Boy has enough of that crap already. I am hoping that they both handle it ok. Good luck!

Mrs Smith said...

We tried the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley, some good suggestions in there, hope it helps, wish I could do more for you all.

dina said...

You could also take a look at "good night, sleep tight' by Kim West. She recommends something called the Sleep Lady Shuffle. In which you sort of slowly decrease your presence over time. So you could start with lying with him in his bed, then progress to sitting on the side, then next to the bed in a chair, and slowly moving the chair farther away. At least if you are not in the bed, you may have a better chance of getting away without waking him. Another option might be, depending on the space you have, to move his bed into your room. Then he can sleep in the same room, but in his own bed, in which case you can move about, and u may get better sleep.