Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Change of Plans & Surgery

My wife had a bad children day yesterday. Bottom line - she feels (and I agree) that The Boy was holding his potty urges until he wasn't receiving full attention, then pooping or peeing to regain that attention. It's frustrating, because we know that he's physically and mentally ready to be potty trained. He's just not emotionally ready for it.

That's a difficult thing to realize: that two or three weeks' worth of work isn't exactly going to carry through right at this moment. Going back on that means that The Wife and I need to retreat back through bold pronunciations of potty training-hood and restart the process later on. Our egos don't like having to show up with The Boy in diapers instead of the underpants that he wore last week.

I really admire that about my wife: while she is stubborn and persistent, she's also intelligent and mature enough to realize that she needs to reevaluate the situation and attempt something different. In this case, the "something different" is to take a few steps back, wait for a little while, then start the process all over again. I know that, for me, I have a tendency to push through things until they are accomplished, regardless of what bridges I have to burn along the way. While my methods get things done, I can really alienate people along the way.

Hopefully, I'll be able to adopt some of that trait from my wife. I think that, as a father, I'm pretty adaptable and flexible; I certainly try my best to listen to people and to try new things with my boys.

All is not lost in the potty arena; we have have to wait a little while longer, until The Boy is emotionally ready to commit to the potty. We can't push him and we can't force him. (Okay, that's not true. We could push him and we could force him. I know that we push and force other things on him. I just don't think you can do that often, without enacting a serious price and serious payback later in life. It's not worth it. I'd rather wait.) It might take another year; it might take another week; we just need to wait until he's ready.

The surgery for the port removal is next Tuesday. That's a pretty big deal; that's a major milestone in his remission-hood. The port is one of the biggest reasons why the oncologist is still his primary doctor; the chance of infection and corruption of the port is a big deal. Once the port's gone, and once the surgery is healed, then The Boy might actually get to know his "real" pediatrician.

Subject change: thanks to the miracle of this modern technology, baseball is alive again here in Pittsburgh. I shelled out $15 for the iPhone MLB At Bat application, and I shelled out another $20 for a year-long MLB.TV subscription; this lets me watch the Yankees games on my telephone or, as I'm doing now, on the Playstation 3. It's awesome. I can also listen to the radio broadcast over the 3G network, which is also awesome. I'm paying just as close attention to my team this summer as I was last summer - well, moreso, because the hospital didn't get the Yankees television network. I think I might have watched an inning or two, minimum, of pretty much every single baseball game this season.


Sleepless Mum said...

Good luck for the port removal!

You might find putting The boy back in nappies makes him much more compliant about the whole thing and willing to take it seriously. He's still young, I believe the average age for training a boy is around 3 years, so definitely still very much in the normal range. I get your frustration though x

Sarah R said...

Good luck with the port removal!

We did three attempts at potty training, so it's definitely one of those things where if they're not ready, it's not going to happen and it will only add to your frustration more. Good luck!