Friday, June 10, 2011

Two More Steps Forward, But...

Two nights ago, Mom threw a bit of a frustration fit at 1am because of The Boy's inability to go back to sleep without having someone climb in bed with him. "You're almost four years old. Go to sleep!" Of course, that begs the question of, how much slack should he get, all thing and illnesses considered?

In reality, we probably are too permissive when it comes to the sleeping thing. With Little Bear, we are quite content to let him cry for a couple of minutes at the start of his sleeping times, because we know that it is temporary and that he's not really uncomfortable. Just tired. With The Boy, we are the opposite: we are violently against any expression of discomfort. It's not fair, and it's not productive, and it's not really helpful.

So, last night, we came to the conclusion that it was time to effect a change. When it was bedtime, I read him two stories (Fox in Socks, a current favorite, and a story from the big Disney collection my brother gave us a year or two ago) like normal. I offered to sing him a song, but he declined. Then, I gave him a hug and a kiss and left the room. He was very unhappy about it: "No, Daddy! You do not leave! You want to stay with The Boy and relax!"

Long story short, he cried for about a minute and went to sleep. When he woke up at midnight to use the potty, he was escorted back to his room and left alone. At 3am, when he came in, he was told to go back to his room, and he did without fuss. When we woke up this morning, The Boy was in his room sleeping. Success! Hooray!

Okay, let's see what happens tonight. I'm sure it'll be different. The two steps back part of it was that Little Bear decided to join us for the entire night. He doesn't do that often, so it really was kind of nice. I do enjoy my baby snuggles, you know.

Is it too confusing to continue naps the way we've been doing while trying to make the change at bedtime? I don't know. I think it might be too traumatic for me to give up my The Boy nap time snuggles.

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Jennifer said...

I always second guess my decisions as a parent. My 1 year old has always been an awesome sleeper. My 3 year old...not as much. We had to let the 3 year old cry for short increments of time when she was little (before 1?) I would not/could not let her her cry for long periods...more like minutes for me LOL. I hardly ever let my boy cry because he rarely does when put to bed, so I feel like something is wrong if he is crying.

My 3 year old has a child proof "lock" on the inside handle of her bedroom door. She is basically locked in. I know it sounds horrible, but I feel like it's safer since I know she's in her room at night and not wandering around. We lost my sister just before age 3 when everyone that was home was asleep and she woke up...tried to get in our baby brother's johnny jump up and the straps got around her neck. This is why I'm ultra paranoid.

My DD has a baby monitor in her room that is always one when she is in bed. It's actually a two way one. We can talk to her and she talks to us. She often requests extra lullabies through the monitor. I wonder if the boy might respond well with something like this. That he knows he can talk to you in bed, but knows to stay in bed?? If you are making progress though you may not want to add the monitor.

We are going to be taking off the child handle very soon. She'll be'll be me that worries. :S

Good Luck!

Musical Daddy said...

Yeah, I'd be a little paranoid, too, if that were me. That's something that will stay with a family for a couple of generations, for sure.

I hate letting the boys cry for any length of time, for sure. It just doesn't sit right with me, you know? That monitor sounds interesting. I know Grandma has suggested keeping some music playing while he's going to sleep, because that used to work for The Wife. Not sure, though, because it doesn't quite seem like he'll respond to that. Lots of guesses. Isn't parenting wonderful?

Musical Daddy said...
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Musical Daddy said...
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