Monday, August 27, 2012

A New Hope

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

That sentence tastes funny, so I'm going to say it again.

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

Ironically, it was not the sense of joy or relief that we felt. It was closer to exhaustion than anything else. Last week was a long, long week; Saturday was a long, long day; this coming week is a long, long week. We got into another disagreement with Grandma that seems to have a difficult resolution. I haven't found the time to return a phone call from one of my best friends, from my birthday three weeks ago. But, here we go:

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

I feel like one cycle - a long, terrible, difficult, dark, challenging, spiritually draining cycle - is closed. A new one is about to begin. The cycle that began on June 24, 2008, with The Boy's cancer diagnosis, finally closed on August 26, 2012. This cycle saw: a career change for me; moving out of New Jersey; losing my chorus and my wonderful church job; losing several years' worth of private students; losing regular contact with my friends. It's done.

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

It's starting to taste better. It's starting to feel more natural. I mean, it should - we've owned the home since June. Last night was the first night we spent in it.

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

Now, I'm working for a large bank, in an entry-level position that I enjoy. I'm surrounded by cool and interesting people, and my supervisor(s) are reasonable individuals who are helping me develop my skills. There's potential for growth in the company, and parking is plentiful if not particularly close. What more can you ask for? I'm directing a Sweet Adelines chorus full of wonderful ladies who want to do interesting things and go to interesting places. My assistant directors are motivated people who have far more talent than I could have hoped. I'm not teaching private lessons anymore, but I have two quartets that I love, and I'm starting to develop some friends.

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

I finally feel like an adult again. I finally feel like I'm back in control of my own life. I finally feel like I can grow again, like I can focus on my beautiful family as I wish. I'm lucky enough to be married to the greatest woman in the world. My cancer survivor is a strong, smart, handsome young man. My middle boy is beautiful and, most likely, an order of magnitude more intelligent than I am - and, faithful readers, you know how difficult it is for me to say that. My little baby is not so little, and he'll take many of his first steps in his own home. His first word, besides "Da," is "shoe," which I'm not sure what that means - foot fetish or cobbler. I'm okay with either.

Yesterday, we moved into our new home.

Sounds about right.



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