Saturday, September 28, 2013

Potty Delaying

Potty training takes on a whole new element when both parents are working. The Wife expressed her frustration thusly: "How the heck do people manage to potty train their children when they're both working? I guess that's why I've seen so many three and a half year olds wearing diapers." When you don't see your kids from 7AM to 4:30PM every day, it becomes a lot more difficult to get them trained exactly how you want them trained. It becomes a lot more difficult in a lot of ways, but potty training is turning out to be challenging.



Granted, people have had two jobs for a long time. This is not a new or an unusual thing; as a matter of fact, I think the unusual thing was that The Wife was able to be home for as long as she was! The Boy's potty training is well-documented (and, frankly, ongoing), made more challenging because of chemotherapy and resultant effects of kidney cancer. Little Bear potty trained early and easily (as he's done most things). The Baby pee trained at the same rate (maybe earlier) as Little Bear, but poo training is a continually elusive matter.



It's hard because The Baby goes from our house to a babysitters to Grandma's to home, or our house to school to Grandma's to home. He (and we) hasn't adjusted to his new schedules yet. The Wife is also discovering that's it's hard to work a full day, get housework done, relax a little bit, AND try to keep on top of a two year old boy who is determined not to use the potty unless forced.Potty training the way that we've done it for the older two - wearing underpants, frequent trips to the potty to try, catching them by body language to get them to a potty before poo accidents happen - requires an awful lot of constant, vigilant attention. He's not getting that right now because of multiple caregivers,



So, what are we going to do? That's an amazing question, and one for which we don't have an answer. The hardest part of everything is that The Wife's situation is so, so, so transitory. She's a long-term substitute - basically, a person that does the job of a full-time teacher (with all the same duties, paperwork expectations, et al) for one third the pay, no benefits, and no sick days. There's no guarantee as to when or if the "real" teacher is coming back. There's a vague promise that she'll be considered for any positions that might open up - but that assumes that they'll give her a fair interview and not find somebody for the full-time position and leave her in the substitute position because "she's doing a great job there." She's taken a couple of job interviews since the start of the school year, which has been nice, but has not yet been asked back for a second interview. Oh, she's also keeping going with singing 5-7 services per month at Rodef and teaching in the Sunday school there.



This means that we're going to continue in this busy, insane instability indefinitely. She can't give up any of her part time stuff, because if the sub job falls through, and she hasn't landed a full-time position, then we lose desperately needed income. And, frankly, most of the part-time stuff is awesome. The Rodef Shalom community has been such a G-dsend to us. They've been friendly, and welcoming, and generous, and accommodating; I honestly don't think we could have made it this far without them. Since they seem to appreciate and value The Wife's abilities, then the very LEAST we can do is keep lending her to them.

(I mean, it's silly stuff - like one of the preschool teachers spending twenty minutes with the boys before The Wife sings services; watching them until I get there from work to pick them up. It's not a huge sacrifice for H to watch the kids, but it's such a huge burden that's taken off of us. You know what I mean? That stuff is priceless and a big reason why I consider us fortunate to have found Rodef.)



So, it's back to the drawing board when it comes to potty training, and it's back to carrying lots of little underpants with us wherever we go. I am reasonably certain that, by the time he gets to high school, he'll be potty trained most of the time. Once we all adjust to the schedule, we'll be able to make a new plan and a new system to get this completed. Until then... ugh. We'll deal with it. It's not like we're strangers to cleaning up smelly messes.


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