Friday, September 12, 2014

Bully Followup




So, as the more rational part of my mind suspected (but wasnt allowed to voice, because the emotional, reactive part of my mind is far more entertaining to read), the situation with the bus kid seems to have worked itself out. The Boy took our advice, and when the kid was starting stuff the next day, he made a game out of it.

The kid was making faces, so The Boy made them back. Then the kid started laughing (my child is very silly when he chooses to be), and the ice was broken. They played a silly game like that on the bus ride home, and had no interaction the next day on the bus.

The situation with the larger kid on the bus from the gifted center remains to be seen. But, it's not a kid that The Boy sees on a regular basis, so I'm wondering if it'll continue to be a problem on Wednesdays.

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It's funny, how I / we react differently to things that our kids experience. Our reactions to The Boy, because of all of his prior issues, have a much shorter fuse than with the other kids. Perfect example: he has a cold, we bring him directly to the doctor's office for examination, and they see him reasonably quickly.

The Baby goes down a slide wrong and breaks his leg? We let him walk on it for a few days before getting a follow up x-ray. No concerns.

I suppose that it's always going to be like that. We've fought a lot harder for that one - we sacrificed a lot to get him through his treatment, and I think we bear permanent scars for it. Little Bear hasn't had the luxury of getting babied and pampered like his brother - he had to grow up and become independent, and he had to do it quickly and under the most stressful conditions imaginable. He learned to sleep by himself because he had to, not because we wanted him to. He had to learn potty early because he didn't have a choice.

The Boy falls down? We might not rush over, but we're carefully watching. Every stomach ache, every pain or pull, every limp or sigh is examined. Little Bear? Nope. "Get up and keep moving, kid." The Baby? Less so, but he's not following The Boy's path.

I hate myself for thinking it, but if Little Bear was in that same situation (which I'd be shocked - he's a social creature, and I have a hard time seeing him as prey in the schoolyard), I'd be more likely to let him suggest solutions and take care of it. One of the reasons that we're happy that they're in adjacent grades is because, when they're older, I think Little Bear is going to need to take care of his brother in social situations. Besides Little Bear is bigger and stronger than the other kids, and he's got pretty good athletic ability. They'll choose easier targets.

Jury's still out on The Baby.

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Thanks for all of the well wishes and suggestions from the last blog entry. I do appreciate it, and some of them made it into the talks that The Boy and I have had since the issues on Wednesday. You're a wonderful community of people, and I am blessed to have such friends!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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